Too Hot To Handle: Is there more pressure to have sex due to online dating?

Netflix dropped Too Hot To Handle recently, which proved to be a dating show with a difference. What initially seemed to be a run-of-the-mill reality series featuring a gaggle of gorgeous singletons, turned out to be something much more. The show tapped into the superficial nature of dating created by dating apps and the perpetuation of hook up culture.

With a sexual partner only a swipe away, Too Hot To Handle tested whether serial daters could form deep emotional bonds through abstinence.

The show tasked its contestants to forego sex and get to know each other over a month with the chance of winning a big cash prize at the end.

However, for every bedroom indiscretion, the group lost money from the total.

To a degree, Too Hot To Handle seemed to show strong emotional relationships could be formed after Harry Jowsey and Francesca Farago ended up declaring their love for each other.


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Most recently, Harry proposed to Francesca during the Too Hot To Handle reunion show which aired on Netflix.

Francesca was left gobsmacked but accepted as Harry help up Ring Pop sweet and said: “I’m on one knee.

“You’ve absolutely changed my life. I love you so much and I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

While Harry and Francesca are Too Hot To Handle’s success story, sadly they were the only couple who managed to survive with Sharron Townsend and Rhonda Paul failing to stand the test of time.

Is there more pressure to have sex due to online dating? spoke exclusively to dating expert and author Camilla Virginia, who weighed in the stresses and strains put on romance by dating apps.

She said apps “definitely” put people under pressure to have sex earlier on.

Virginia, who advocates an offline dating approach, explained: “Hook up culture, the term was coined for a reason. There is a culture out there and especially the way it’s portrayed in the media and pop culture. “It can make people feel like everyone is doing it. If you get upset when your one-night-stand doesn’t call you back, ‘What’s wrong with you? Oh my god, you actually have feelings?’

“No one is talking about how this is a horrible way to treat people. People, especially women, many of them are feeling like that should sleep with a guy otherwise he’s going to disappear. Because if they don’t, the next woman on the apps will.

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“But what they don’t realise is that if they’re looking for a long-term relationship, they don’t want the guy who’s going to go on to the next woman.

“He’s not ready for a relationship anyway and now you feel worse because you slept with him before you were ready in hopes of holding onto him.”

Virginia continued: “Most humans need emotional connection and it’s hard especially for women to have continual one-night-stands and feel emotionally satisfied. It’s easier for men but eventually they got lonely too. It’s just not a sustainable lifestyle unless you’re a narcissist.”

She said this perception of everyone having sex created a spiral of shame for those who felt hurt after sleeping with their date too early in a relationship.


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The dating expert also warned having sex too early in a fledgling romance could scupper a relationship because it shifted the focus away from emotional to physical which was a weak foundation to build a meaningful connection upon.

While some people have formed long-lasting relationships after sex on the first date, Virginia said these were “exceptions to the rule”.

However, the author of The Offline Connection Method: 4 Minutes to a More Meaningful Life in The Real World said dating apps had been positive for members of the LGBTQ+ find each other in a way which wasn’t available to them before.

The Offline Connection Method: 4 Minutes to a More Meaningful Life in The Real World by Camille Virginia will be published in August

Too Hot To Handle is streaming on Netflix now

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