I'm So Sorry, but We Need to Discuss Who Baby Is on 'The Masked Singer'

Welp. After ruining almost every fruit and vegetable in the food pyramid and absolutely devastating bananas as a brand, The Masked Singer has unveiled its most sinister creation yet: Baby. No, not “The Baby.” Just…simply…Baby. *shudder*

So yeah, to make the situation abundantly clear: This show has convinced some poor, confused celebrity who needs to fire their agent immediately to climb into a human baby costume, complete with a onesie and pacifier. And truly, I’m not sure what’s more frightening: Baby’s monstrous giggle echoing through my eardrums, or the fact that when Baby sings, the voice of an adult man comes out of it.

Either way, something wicked this way gurgles, and it is our civic duty as citizens of this crumbling nation to figure out what middle aged man is trapped inside Baby—who I can only assume ate him with that one ominous tooth.

The Clues

It gives me no pleasure to do this to you, but we need to hold hands and watch Baby’s clue package, which is 1 minute and 8 seconds long but somehow feels about three hours.

Things we’ve learned:

On top of all this (which we can all agree is a lot), I’m sorry to say that we also have this performance of Baby singing “My First My Last My Everything” by Barry White.

The Theories

Fortunately, we don’t need to spend too much time on this one because there’s only one person Baby can be:

Larry the Cable Guy

I mean, all the evidence is THERE! First of all, let’s discuss the blockbuster hit #2 reference. As multiple fans are pointing out, this is likely a shoutout to Larry being in Jingle All The Way 2. Baby also tells us that he replaced Arnold Schwarzenegger in a movie, and Arnold was in the first Jingle All the Way. Oh, and Baby’s giant tooth? Probably a reference to Tooth Fairy 2, which Larry was also in.

Meanwhile, YouTube commenter Anthony El Angel Trovador notes that the police badge could be a reference to Larry’s movie The Health Inspector, and he was literally in The Brat Pack—which is probably why Baby referenced being in a “baby rat pack.”

Tom Selleck

Okay, I know that I said Baby is definitely Larry the Cable Guy a few seconds ago, but some fans seem to think poor Tom Selleck is inside this costume, so just a moment of recognition for this theory in case it’s correct. Clues that point to Tom being Baby:

Anyway, we’ll be updating this list with any new Baby evidence, and please be advised that I will be billing The Masked Singer for the therapy bills I incurred while researching this article.

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