Should I bring up my torture over husband's affair from 20 years ago?

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband confessed to an affair 20 years ago but now it is torturing me and I want some answers.

I am 46 and he’s 48. Our two sons are grown up and have left home.

Our marriage was mostly happy, with just one painful period when he had an affair with a woman from work. She had his child and he paid maintenance until last year.

He broke down one day when the boy was two. He told me everything and asked me to forgive him, which I did.

We agreed to put it behind us. Is it wrong to bring it up after all this time?

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DEIDRE SAYS: You have every right to your feelings but ask yourself what you are hoping for.

Nothing will make that reality go away and it is likely to reopen old wounds. Try writing down your thoughts and feelings.

It may feel less confrontational for your husband to read them and help him to open up.

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