DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex is threatening to share our sex tape online if I don’t agree to give her full custody of our kids.
She is 42, I am 45 and we were together for 12 years.
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To be honest, I don’t know how I lasted that long.
She is quite possibly the most critical person I have ever met.
Everything I did was wrong. If I made the bed, the cushions weren’t in the right spot.
If I cooked dinner, it was too cold, too spicy or too bland.
There were some good parts to our relationship. All the arguing meant we had great make-up sex at least two or three times a week.
Last year, while she was away on a spa weekend with her friends, I decided to tidy the house.
I was putting away her clean washing when I found a box shoved at the back of the drawer. Inside was a key and a note that read, “So you can visit whenever you want”.
When I confronted her, she didn’t even try to deny it.
She said: “Yep, I’ve been having an affair for a year. So, I guess we’d better divorce?”
I was stunned at how little she seemed to care.
So we split. She stayed in the house with the kids, who I see every weekend, and I moved in with a mate.
We managed to keep things pretty amicable until it came to the issue of custody.
She wants full custody of our sons, aged 11 and seven.
I don’t know why — I’m a great dad and they get really excited to see me every Saturday.
Last night, she called again to demand I sign the papers.
When I said no, she threatened to share a sex tape we had made early on in our relationship.
I’d completely forgotten about it. I wasn’t totally on board with the idea in the first place, so I think I blocked it out of my memory.
I can’t believe those words even came out of her mouth.
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What sort of person threatens that? And has she not considered how this would make our sons feel?
Is there anything I can do to stop her?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is a crime to threaten to share sexual images or videos of a person without their consent, so you have every right to report her to the police.
Reach out to the Revenge Porn Helpline (revengepornhelpline.org.uk, 0345 6000 459) for advice.
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Would you both consider mediation?
National Family Mediation (nfm.org.uk, 0300 4000 636) helps couples to separate in a way where the children are protected from any conflict.
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