I went from being my partners lover to her carer – I can't do it anymore | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: TELLING my ex-partner I can’t care for her any longer is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

She’s 48 and has multiple sclerosis.

I’m a man of 51 and we were a couple for 12 years. She was diagnosed ten years ago and it’s been devastating.

I gave up my job as a plumber to look after her but she’s always seemed resentful and we’ve argued more as the disease advanced.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

I’ve gone from being her lover, to her carer and now we’ve drifted apart.

I moved into the spare bedroom and then we both decided we’d be better off splitting up – but I still provide her care.

Now if I talk about leaving and suggest alternative care arrangements, she threatens to self-harm or worse.

I’d like to work again and start afresh.

DEIDRE SAYS:  Your relationship is no longer what it was and she would attest to that.

She can’t emotionally blackmail you into staying. Her care isn’t your responsibility.

Explain to her that staying is making you unhappy and you don’t want to become resentful of her.

Encourage her to find some support and she’ll be able to find a professional carer to help her which could open more doors for her socially.

You can both talk it through with the people from Scope (scope.org.uk, 0808 800 3333) which helps people with disabilities.



Friend's children fear for their home after mum died in hit-and-run accident


Oliver's girlfriend is concerned at how much money he's gambling at bingo

Pictures posed by models.

Source: Read Full Article