DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I tell my new girl I like dressing up in women’s underwear during sex?
I’m scared she’ll either run a mile or laugh right in my face.
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She’s 33, I’m 35 and we’ve been dating for the last three months.
Sex with her is great but it has been pretty tame so far.
My ex was really adventurous. We did everything, from playing with hot wax to BDSM and threesomes.
But the thing that really turned me on was when we both dressed up in sexy lingerie, like stockings and suspenders.
Not only do I like the way they look on women, but I love the feel of the material against my skin.
So how do I come clean without scaring her off?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s only natural to be nervous about sharing your fetishes with your partner. This is you opening up and being vulnerable.
It’s best to have this conversation when you’re both feeling comfortable, and are unlikely to be interrupted.
Also avoid having it straight after sex, as she may take your comments to mean that you weren’t satisfied.
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Rather than blurting it out, start with something like, “I feel like I can trust you, so I want to share something personal.” This will help set the right tone for the conversation.
I’m sending you my support pack, Fetish Worries, which explains in more detail.
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