Gabourey Sidibe discusses past struggle with bulimia, depression

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Gabourey Sidibe discussed her past struggle with bulimia and depression on Taraji P. Henson’s Facebook Watch series, “Peace of Mind with Taraji.”

 “It wasn’t even about other people. It was about me surviving the day. I was so embarrassed and I hated crying so much. I hated it,” Sidibe, 37, said of the her early struggle with an eating disorder, “I found a fun little button. I found a button, and on top of that, people were like, ‘You’re looking good.’ So I’m like, ‘Why would I stop?’”

The “Empire” star added, “That’s what bulimia was for me. It wasn’t about losing weight. It wasn’t about controlling my appetite. Actually it was about how it stopped me from crying. Being depressed was one thing. If you add an eating disorder to that, that’s a whole other monster that you have to fight.”

The star first revealed that she suffered with the condition in her 2017 autobiography, “This Is Just My Face.”

“Often, when I was too sad to stop crying, I drank a glass of water and ate a slice of bread, and then I threw it up,” Sidibe wrote. “After I did, I wasn’t as sad anymore; I finally relaxed. So I never ate anything, until I wanted to throw up — and only when I did could I distract myself from whatever thought was swirling around my head.”

She said in the book that she had suicidal thoughts, and eventually sought help from a therapist.

The full episode will air on Jan. 25.

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