Tamera Mowry has learned a lot about herself from her years in the entertainment industry, a career that began when she was a child. One of those things is the importance of not staying in spaces that aren’t good for her.
The 43-year-old star recently had a very insightful conversation with Lewis Howes where she talked about experiences in the business, from leaving her reality show with sister Tia because the series was turning things into Team Tia vs. Team Tamera, and feelings of not being good enough dating back to being in front of the camera since she was 11 (and the effects of social media on that). Something that stood out in the chat were the feelings she had of “going to battle” for seven seasons as co-host of The Real after feeling unfairly critiqued and mischaracterized during her time on the show.
“They will take what you say, put it out of context of who they think you are and that is what happened for years on that show,” she told Howes. “I will tell you this, being on a talk show and you can take it or leave it, it’s not a safe space. It’s not. I wish someone would have told me that because then I would have been prepared. I was not. I learned. Think of going to battle but you don’t know you’re going to battle.”
By the time she exited the show in 2020, the star was ready for whatever people had to say and throw her way.
“At the end I was fully armed. You can watch the beginning of the season to the end of the season, you see this strong warrior,” she said. “I wasn’t supposed to know it wasn’t a safe place because I wouldn’t be who I am now. I’ve learned so much about myself doing that show.”
One of the things she learned is that she is, indeed, good enough, and as an extension of that, it’s also ok to not be perfect. So her response to criticism of her opinions and assumptions about her life was to not shut down and say less, but continue being her authentic self.
“It is ok to be vulnerable. It is ok to speak your truth,” she said. “Just because there are people out there who may not agree with your truth, it doesn’t mean there aren’t many people who do. What I found out is, I’d rather have people dislike me for who I truly am than who I’m pretending to be. That’s the reality of it.”
She also learned that anytime comments did bother her, it was because they fed into insecurities she had about herself. So she had to decide whether or not to do something about it or just ignore the negativity. In the end, her experiences on the show were good for the star because they helped her become stronger.
“Don’t take anything personal if they don’t know me personally, that’s what I learned. And then, I had to do a lot of inner work,” she said. “I had to first recognize, ‘this is an insecurity of mine. Oh God. Why is it an insecurity?’ So it was a lot of self-reflection. That’s why that show, even though it was not a safe place, it has made me who I am today.”
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